1. I came into this for the potential of money and free things. Nobody ever likes to come right out and say that, do they? But its true. I started this blog when I was going through a mess of a time getting my pharmacy technician's license; it took forever to get and during the time I was fighting with the state and my school over it (don't ever attend UEI. EVER.), all the schooling I had just completed was worthless because no pharmacy would hire me without it. I was looking for sources of income I could obtain legally while staying home with my children. I was reading lots of mommy blogs at the time, and they were always promoting products they had received for free, or doing paid posts, and I thought why not me?
2. I've backed myself into a corner with the niche I chose. Speaking of mommy blogs, I didn't want to write one, even though I could probably maintain it a lot better than the one I'm currently doing. I love my children, I really do. But being a stay at home mom means that my life is pretty much centered around their life, and it gets....exhausting. I want to be able to have my own hobbies and likes, and things just for me. So I chose to go the nerdy blog route, with an emphasis in World of Warcraft, because I know nerd and I hadn't seen too many WoW based blogs. But because I'm a casual WoW player, and don't have the money to buy all the nerd accoutrements, I feel like I can't post as frequently as I should, and that my posts aren't as good a quality as I'd like.
3. I suffer from writer's remorse. Sometimes I write a post and publish it, then think that I probably shouldn't have written it. Those posts come off as whiny or bitchy, and who wants to read those? But at the same time, I go back and forth with whether or not I should take the posts down, ultimately leaving them up because posting something is better than nothing right? Like a good example was the Play LIVE stuff. I realize that most of my posts about it came off as desperate, pandering and even ungrateful at times. Some people I know in real life who I thought would donate didn't and that hurt. And I realize that I took that hurt out on my followers. I was also suffering from envy. My other teammates were getting thousands in donations and I wasn't. But I wanted that level of donations, you know? So instead of trying to do more, like find sponsors, I just wrote passive aggressive blog posts and tweets. And I do apologize for that.
4. Writing consistently is harder than I thought. I thought writing a blog about things I liked would be easy. I didn't realize how wrong I was. Getting into consistent blogging has proved difficult for me. Sometimes I get a wealth of ideas and I can pound out a month's worth of posts in a day and call it good. And then other times I sit at the screen and stare at it, and nothing comes to me for weeks.
5. I feel inadequate in the blogging world. This sums up all my other confessions, really. I want to do things like sponsored posts and ads on here, but I worry that nobody would buy one. Or they'd see how little trafficked my site is and ask for their money back lol. I would also love to work with more bloggers, but I'm afraid to ask. Rejection is a scary thing, and I feel like I'm a small fish in a big pond, with nothing to offer the bigger fish. There are so many good blogs out there and I constantly worry that mine is mediocre in comparison. I'm not sure that my little space of the Internet is actually contributing to anything other than taking up space.
So there they are- my way super personal confessions! If you take part in this confessional, don't forget to leave your link on Megan's post. But if you could, please also leave it here in the comments section. I'd love to read what you guys write!
